Top 15 Things You Might Hear If You Have a Klingon Coach

Swim Fitness Articles

15. By making this complaint you have questioned my family honor. Prepare to die!

14. T-30's? That is for children. A Klingon Warrior does lactate sets.

13. I have challenged the entire swim team board of directors to a Bat-Leth contest on the holodeck. They will not concern us again.

12. Klingon swimmers do not sit back and draft. When a Klingon trains, he challenges the lead swimmer in combat and owns the lane!

11. You are breathing every stroke on your butterfly! You have no honor!

10. A TRUE Klingon coach does not write team newsletter articles! For that, you need a Ferengi.

9. What is this talk about "scratching"? Klingons do not show fear and cower before the enemies!

8. You question the worthiness of my Coaching? I should kill you where you stand!

7. Our competitors are without honor! Let them flee like the dogs they are.

6. The 50 free is for the weak and timid!

5. This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need Pentium4 processors if I am to do battle with this meet entry software!

4. Perhaps it IS a good day to die! I say you will swim the 400 IM, 200 fly, and the mile.

3. You cannot appreciate Counsilman until you have read it in the original Klingon.

2. Drills during a set? I will show you how to swim one-armed butterfly when I cut off your arm!

1. Behold, the stopwatch of Kalis! The greatest Klingon coach warrior that ever lived.